Parenting Skills – or Unskills?

Ten:  ‘Dad, what’s a parent’s job?’

Husband:  ‘Erm, well, do you mean in relation to children?’

Ten:  ‘Yes. ‘

Husband: ‘Well, …’ mention made of raising them in what parents consider to be the best way they can with love, example, education etc etc…

Ten:  ‘But how?’

At which point all of the wind was blown out of Husband’s sails.  How on earth was he supposed to answer this awkward question, especially when it sounded suspiciously as though it was all leading down one particular pathway; that of Mean Mummy banning Ten from using the computer and all related games on schooldays.

Perhaps Ten was going to try and forge a Secret Squirrel male-bonding pact, whereby all Spoilsports (Mum) would be excluded for ever and ever.  Husband successfully managed to steer the conversation in a different direction.

We were reminded yet again what a funny little character Ten is and it brought to mind some of his previous obscure observations to which there is no answer (unless you happen to be a bit of a boffin or taking hallucinogenic drugs) like:

‘Why is the sky so big?’ and ‘Would you rather live on the point of a sword or hanging on a hook?’

Ten and I spent Monday and Tuesday of this week at home, with him vomiting violently from both ends.  By Tuesday evening, when he was over his symptoms but still sitting on the sofa wearing only shorts, he said:

‘My nipples are nothing.  Sometimes you can’t even feel them.  When I poke them in they don’t always pop back out again.’

One day, some time during his first year at school, he confided in me:

‘Mummy, I know the ‘F’ word.’

‘Do you?’  I asked, reeling.  ‘ What is it?’

‘Vagina.’